It's time
by Jeid Spoby Delena
Summary: Hi! So I hope you like this story. I just want to say I love JJ/Reid as friends! If they got together in the very beginning I would be their biggest shipper but they didn't so I'm ok with them being close friends. :)) This is set in the episode "The Forever People" after the scene where JJ tells Reid she was pregnant and the end scene with JJ talking to Askari doesn't exist ;)Enjoy


We are already on the flight back from our case and yet none of the others has noticed that JJ totally wasn't fine. I thought of telling them earlier that today is the anniversary of JJ's abduction and torture but then again I was afraid that JJ would be mad at me for telling them so I didn't.

When she told me she has lost her child in Afghanistan I didn't know what to say. I don't think anyone can couch the pain and grief she feels, nor the huge amount of sympathy I felt for her in this moment. And then when she started to gather herself again and whipped the tears away I just wanted her to stop doing it. I didn't want her to build up the big wall she's surrounded by again. I wanted her to feel and let me help her. I wanted to help but I just couldn't get out a single word. I know it's just a matter of time when she will break because there's only so much a human can take and she suppresses everything that happened. She hasn't dealt with it but now it's time to do that: deal with her past.

Now I'm sitting here next to Morgan, across from Hotch and next to him Rossi. Kate is sleeping somewhere across the jet and JJ is curled up sleeping in the double seat next to the seat where the four men of us are placed. Morgan, Hotch and Rossi are having a conversation about whether or not they would want to live in Asia (I have no idea how they got to that topic) and I'm just getting more worried about JJ every second while watching her sleep because she constantly winces or quietly groans like if she was in pain.

Then I notice Hotch staring at me, only a second before I turn to look at him but it was enough for him to realize what or better who I was gazing at. He observes JJ a couple of seconds which causes Morgan and Rossi to look up because Hotch didn't take part in their discussion anymore. Soon all of them are watching JJ with a confused look on their faces when they suddenly turn to look at me all at once.

"What's going on with JJ?" Morgan's the one to speak.

So I explain that JJ's abduction was exactly a year ago and that I noticed her showing signs of PTSD which is why I confronted her about it. I tell them that a woman and her daughter got killed by Askari and she's blaming herself for it. But I don't tell them all of it. I don't tell them she was pregnant. I promised her.

They are kind of shocked. They totally forgot it and feel bad about it, I can see that in their faces. Even Hotch is showing genuine concern. She's one of his agents and he feels kind of responsible for each of us.

We are just in the discussion about how we can possibly help her as JJ wakes up not without a loud gasp coming along with it. She looks around terrified and then suddenly jumps up and rushes to the bathroom. Fortunately we sit like only three steps away of it because we can see (and hear) JJ throwing up into the toilet. I don't hesitate to get up and go to her to hold her hair so it doesn't fall in her face. After she's done, washes her hands and I lead her back into the jet hallway, she looks up at me. She tries to smile. Her "Hey-I'm-Fine-Even-Though-I'm-Not"-Smile. But this time it doesn't succeed. Her eyes start to tear up and there I know it's her time to break. It's then when she just stops trying to be strong all the time and lets her head sink against my chest. I wrap my arms around her. Let her seek comfort in my embrace just how I've already done several times with her, for example as Maeve died or even as Tobias Hankel tortured me. She's always been there for me and I'm always there for her because that's what friends do.

We just stand there for a minute, JJ crying in my arms but she controls herself because there aren't any loud sobs, only silent tears streaming down her face. After a while I can feel the eyes of the others in my back. I totally forgot about them, so I untighten my grip and take her hand instead and lead her to the double seat she sat in before we got up. She sits down on the seat by the window so I take the one by the hallway. I put my arm around her so that my hand rests just above her waist and she buries her legs under her body and puts her head on my chest near the crook of my arm. She doesn't need to say anything. I know that she just had a nightmare, probably about Askari and Nadia and her unborn child. I've had them for months myself back then when Hankel tortured me. I know what she's going through. Right now she just needs someone.

After a couple of minutes of silence she falls asleep, I can feel her regular breath. It's only now when I realize that none of the others have continued their conversation. They are looking at us, watching maybe even profiling but actually there's nothing to profile. JJ and I are just really close friends and they know that.

"So what do we do?" Hotch asks obviously insecure about the whole situation.

"Honestly I don't know. As the bare gut instinct of a friend I'd say to give her a few days off but I know she wouldn't like the idea. She hates being petted and treated like the weak woman that can't handle anything by herself. She feels like she has to keep up with us to be worth called a member of the team." Which is totally nonsensical because everyone knows I'm not exactly strong either and however I get accepted.

"That's stupid. She doesn't have to prove anything. She's been here for a long time by now, is a part of our family and she's great at her job." Morgan's always been protective of her in a brotherly way. "Right, Hotch?" He seeks confirmation in Hotch.

"Yeah of course which is why we have to help her somehow. But Reid's right, she's probably even going to be mad because you told us. I'd say we just leave it alone for the next couple of days maybe weeks. Just observe and see how things develop."

"I agree. But I don't think we should tell Kate. She doesn't know what happened at all. Only very vague that JJ got abducted and tortured. I suggest we don't implicate her until we know more." Rossi joins in.

I didn't even think of Kate until Rossi mentions her. But he has a point so I agree with him. Herewith the conversation is over and everybody gets back to doing their stuff. Morgan listens to music as usual, Rossi takes out a book and so does Hotch. My thoughts remain with JJ. I can't help but think about her torture. She told me already a year ago what Askari and Hastings did to her. Just imagining that Hastings could have raped her makes me want to throw up. Back then I blamed myself for not staying with her that night they took her. I liked to think that I could have protected her even though I probably couldn't have. Now I know that feeling guilty is no use for any of us. Thinking about this I automatically tighten my grip around JJ. She just doesn't deserve this.

Fifteen minutes later the pilot informs us that we're about to land so I wake her. She looks around with dozy eyes before she realizes where she is. She looks up at me and our eyes meet. "How are you?" I hold her gaze. "I don't know, Spence." She finally looks away and starts to sit completely on her own seat, the way it's intended. She is done just when Kate walks in. Kate takes a seat and a couple of minutes later we land. Everyone gets off the jet, we say our goodbyes and each one heads to their car to go home. I came to work by foot as always but I accompany JJ to her car. When we get there she turns around to look at me and I just pull her into another hug. "Thank you, Spence." I hear her mumble into my shoulder. I hug her tighter for a split second then I release her. I smile at her and put a strand of hair that fell out behind her ear. Now I open the door of the car so she can get in. JJ returns my smile and then gets into the car. I watch as she drives away and then head towards home myself… From now on, I just hope it all works out.


End file.
